Homeschooling multiple kids

People often ask me how I homeschool with multiple kids.  I have a teenager, a ten year old, a seven year old and five year old.  So the ages and responsibilities vary, which also means so do the expectations. To be clear, "homeschooling" a toddler is not the same as a teaching a high school kid about the periodic table. So the first thing I think people have to understand is that my teaching changes from year to year. As the kids get older, the needs change more. Next year for example, all of the kids will have spelling lists, for the first time.

The other thing I have to explain that is I don't do "school at home".  By that I mean that I don't set up a certain designated time for school each day. I tend to do it in the morning but sometimes that doesn't work out. My older child volunteers so sometimes I use her volunteer time to take the younger kids to the library or a mini field trip. I like to schedule doctor's appointments during the school day because there are more open appointments (I try to get all my kids seen at one time to avoid multiple trips). If my husband is going to help with a project or an assignment this may mean waiting until he gets home from work.  I have to be flexible in what we get done every day.

However, we do use textbooks and a lot of my childrens' work is turned into a third party. So I do plot out a general schedule. For example, my teenager can complete a book report on her own from start to finish.  This is an assignment that is graded by our "umbrella" school so other than  few pointers from me on things like margins, she does it solo.  I will however, make sure to give her a guideline of how long she should take to work on it.

My ten year old, on the other hand, needs more help with book reports because he is still learning how to do them. So while he reads the book on his own, I will stop and go over chapters with him from time to time. I also spend more time with him on how to do outlines, good sentence structure, and grammar.

Meanwhile, my two little ones aren't doing book reports so their reading assignments involve more reading to me (or each other) and verbal questions. That's another point to keep in mind: kids can help each other. My younger ones read to each other or to their older siblings all the time. I strongly believe that being able to teach something truly shows your understanding and ability to do it well yourself.

Sounds like a lot right?  Well, we don't do every subject, every day. Nor do we do a set amount of time every day. If it takes a lot longer to get through something on Monday, I may decide Tuesday to review a topic instead of moving on to what I had for Tuesday. One day, after a week of rain, the weather was so beautiful, we decided to drop everything and go to the zoo.  It's all about flexibility.

Here's a sample of a day for me:

- PERSONAL TIME: Wake up and have personal time (sometimes that's watching TV and drinking tea, other times it's exercise).  This is essential when you spend ALL day with your kids.

- GET THE OLDER KIDS GOING FIRST:  Once the kids are up and have had breakfast (and other morning routine stuff), I make sure the teenager is focused on what she needs to do during the day.

Then I get started with the ten year old.  I generally give him a few things he can do on his own like reading an assignment and answering the questions at the end of the chapter. While he is doing that, I may start working with the younger kids. As their grades are close together I do a lot of their work at the same time.  Sometimes though I get one started on a solo activity (like copying spelling words) while the other one works with me on something.

- RETURN TO THE OLDER KIDS: Because the younger kids don't spend as much time doing work, eventually they are "dismissed" to do something else, and I return to the older child. This is when the more hands on work comes up.

- At a certain point everyone stops for the day (I will let the older child stop on her own because I am trying to teach time management and being responsible for her actions). We then do chores or free time.

Of course, everyday is not like this. We are going to put together a solar system and each child will help. But of course, I will give age appropriate explanations of things. I don't expect the five year old to know about gravity and different gases on each planet.

Now add into this LIFE and you'll see why flexibility is the key. One kid woke up sick. Really sick, like changing the sheets sick. Another kid "forgot" to tell me she needed a baked item for an event that evening. Another kid decides to "help" with cleaning, which requires a second cleaning. The neighbor needs help, the husband forgot something at home and needs you to bring it to him, someone put hair bows on the dog, a glass was knocked over while trying to kill a fly .....the list goes on and on.

We are also a military family, so there's that.  I think the need to be flexible in our address forced me to learn early on that be too structured just means constant let downs and frustrations. Again, this is what works for me.  I do see the TV shows and online stories of very structured school at home type environments.  That just doesn't work for me. But even with those, they allow for flexibility of illness, weather, etc.

So multiple kids, multiple lessons, multiple ages...it's totally possible. Sometimes you just have to throw out the plans and go with the flow!

I often meet people who have negative views on homeschooling.  I have heard countless horror stories, diatribes from offended parents/ teachers, and concerns about normalcy/socialization/testing, ...the list goes on and on.

I homeschool because it works for my family.  I do not homeschool to prove anything to teachers, former teachers, parents, or school districts.  We are a military family and as a military child myself, I know what it's like to change schools a lot.  I attended ten schools between Kindergarten and 12th grade.  It was a great experience, as I got to literally see the world.  However, I had trouble in one subject in particular and because I went through so many teachers and teaching styles, there was little consistency in how I was taught.  Obviously, there were a few other factors involved, but as a student who excelled in other courses, this became quite difficult to overcome when I got to college.

So here are MY responses to homeschool "naysayers" or those who just want to know.  I am not the type of person who likes to go back and forth, debating statistics and scholarly articles.  These are just my quick responses when someone gets a little too forceful with their commentary.  (I tend to ignore quite a bit of the comments unless actually directed at me.)

1. "My friend/sister/uncle is a teacher and said tons of homeschool students show up to be enrolled in school and are so far behind, they take forever to catch up."

- First, we don't know where the student was when they began homeschooling.  For example, a fellow homeschooler I knew personally, found her son had a developmental issue.  Because he was in a school district with tons of red tape, the assistance he needed was at least a year off.  So she began homeschooling until they moved to a better district and then enrolled him there.  So her child was behind the other kids, but only by about a year or so and only in some subjects.  Without knowing that he was actually almost two years behind before she began homeschooling, one would not realize the improvement that was made.

Second, some kids who are enrolled in school after being homeschooled, are there because the parents discovered homeschooling wasn't for them.  So while their child may be behind it doesn't mean every homeschool child is behind.

2. "My cousin homeschools her kids and they are super religious and only wear skirts and don't talk to other kids.  Your kids don't act like homeschool kids...they are normal".

(I hear this one a LOT and I know it's meant to be a compliment.)  Yes, these people exist.  I am not one of these, because that is not MY belief.  I often tell people that many of the homeschoolers who seem to shun secular or worldly things, are usually homeschooling for religious reasons and do NOT want their kids to act "normal".  Many...usually...not all.  The families who practice quiverfull for example, tend to homeschool.  They don't agree with a lot of the things that exist in the world and so they don't encourage their children to act like the kids you see in the world.  That does not make them wrong, but it also shouldn't be the gauge for all homeschoolers.  Even if someone is using a religious curriculum, that doesn't mean they are skirt wearing, long hair, double digit kid having families.  It can just mean they like that curriculum.

Disclaimer:  I use the word "normal" loosely.  Normal when it comes to kids always makes me laugh a bit.  What's normal for a kid from a large city is not the same as a kid from the country.  Trust me on this one (live this daily with my husband).  I am not implying that my children are more or less normal than other kids.
3. "I think kids need to be with their own age".

My kids are involved in activities outside the house.  We don't wake up, study quantum physics and then discuss world events.  My kids play with other kids, watch TV, listen to regular music, and play video games.  They are usually only recognized as homeschoolers because they have different amounts of free time compared to other kids, so doctor's appointments and volunteer activities are more open to us.

That being said, other than grade school, there is no other time in life where someone expects you to only be around people who are the same age as you.  As a college freshman, there were older and younger students in my classes.  Many homeschool kids tend to be a bit more mature because they are not talked down to on a daily basis.  I was often mistaken for a child who was older and I wasn't homeschooled, so these traits are not exclusive to homeschooled kids.

4. "Your daughter/son is shy/behind/having trouble with a subject because they are homeschooled."

This is one of the more annoying comments.  It implies that children who are in school are not shy, don't ever get behind or have trouble with subjects.  It also usually comes from someone who has mistaken shy for introversion, or thinks that having trouble with a subject is dooming a child to a lifetime of academic failure.

5. "What about grades or testing?"

So here's the thing most non-homeschoolers do not understand: homeschoolers can assess their children however they want.  Sounds like chaos right?  I mean how can we possibly know if our child is on target?! Many times, you just know.  I actually started homeschooling, because I was concerned about my oldest child's lack of knowledge on certain things.  I asked other parents, looked up the state standards, and even thought about when I learned certain topics.  I felt she was behind and I did not care for the methods being used.  The tests coincidentally said she was on target for her age, but I disagreed.  I felt the test was using the bare minimum (the methods had recently been changed), and I wanted her to be challenged more.

Some schools don't test, some don't give grades.  Obviously that is not a 100% sure way to assess a child.  There are other methods and many parents find that what works for one child doesn't work for another. Each state has their own requirements, each family has their own standards.

6. I couldn't homeschool, my kids drive me crazy.  I can't be with them all day.

My kids drive me crazy too.  I make sure to take breaks away from them.  I think any relationship needs that.  That being said, if you really think you couldn't homeschool, don't homeschool.  It's not for everyone and I don't judge people who decide to do it, not do it, start and then stop, etc.  It's a choice and it works for us for right now.

Now we're off to hang out at the attractions that are packed when other kids get out of school.