I often meet people who have negative views on homeschooling. I have heard countless horror stories, diatribes from offended parents/ teachers, and concerns about normalcy/socialization/testing, ...the list goes on and on.
I homeschool because it works for my family. I do not homeschool to prove anything to teachers, former teachers, parents, or school districts. We are a military family and as a military child myself, I know what it's like to change schools a lot. I attended ten schools between Kindergarten and 12th grade. It was a great experience, as I got to literally see the world. However, I had trouble in one subject in particular and because I went through so many teachers and teaching styles, there was little consistency in how I was taught. Obviously, there were a few other factors involved, but as a student who excelled in other courses, this became quite difficult to overcome when I got to college.
So here are MY responses to homeschool "naysayers" or those who just want to know. I am not the type of person who likes to go back and forth, debating statistics and scholarly articles. These are just my quick responses when someone gets a little too forceful with their commentary. (I tend to ignore quite a bit of the comments unless actually directed at me.)
1. "My friend/sister/uncle is a teacher and said tons of homeschool students show up to be enrolled in school and are so far behind, they take forever to catch up."
- First, we don't know where the student was when they began homeschooling. For example, a fellow homeschooler I knew personally, found her son had a developmental issue. Because he was in a school district with tons of red tape, the assistance he needed was at least a year off. So she began homeschooling until they moved to a better district and then enrolled him there. So her child was behind the other kids, but only by about a year or so and only in some subjects. Without knowing that he was actually almost two years behind before she began homeschooling, one would not realize the improvement that was made.
Second, some kids who are enrolled in school after being homeschooled, are there because the parents discovered homeschooling wasn't for them. So while their child may be behind it doesn't mean every homeschool child is behind.
2. "My cousin homeschools her kids and they are super religious and only wear skirts and don't talk to other kids. Your kids don't act like homeschool kids...they are normal".
(I hear this one a LOT and I know it's meant to be a compliment.) Yes, these people exist. I am not one of these, because that is not MY belief. I often tell people that many of the homeschoolers who seem to shun secular or worldly things, are usually homeschooling for religious reasons and do NOT want their kids to act "normal". Many...usually...not all. The families who practice quiverfull for example, tend to homeschool. They don't agree with a lot of the things that exist in the world and so they don't encourage their children to act like the kids you see in the world. That does not make them wrong, but it also shouldn't be the gauge for all homeschoolers. Even if someone is using a religious curriculum, that doesn't mean they are skirt wearing, long hair, double digit kid having families. It can just mean they like that curriculum.
Disclaimer: I use the word "normal" loosely. Normal when it comes to kids always makes me laugh a bit. What's normal for a kid from a large city is not the same as a kid from the country. Trust me on this one (live this daily with my husband). I am not implying that my children are more or less normal than other kids.
3. "I think kids need to be with their own age".
My kids are involved in activities outside the house. We don't wake up, study quantum physics and then discuss world events. My kids play with other kids, watch TV, listen to regular music, and play video games. They are usually only recognized as homeschoolers because they have different amounts of free time compared to other kids, so doctor's appointments and volunteer activities are more open to us.
That being said, other than grade school, there is no other time in life where someone expects you to only be around people who are the same age as you. As a college freshman, there were older and younger students in my classes. Many homeschool kids tend to be a bit more mature because they are not talked down to on a daily basis. I was often mistaken for a child who was older and I wasn't homeschooled, so these traits are not exclusive to homeschooled kids.
4. "Your daughter/son is shy/behind/having trouble with a subject because they are homeschooled."
This is one of the more annoying comments. It implies that children who are in school are not shy, don't ever get behind or have trouble with subjects. It also usually comes from someone who has mistaken shy for introversion, or thinks that having trouble with a subject is dooming a child to a lifetime of academic failure.
5. "What about grades or testing?"
So here's the thing most non-homeschoolers do not understand: homeschoolers can assess their children however they want. Sounds like chaos right? I mean how can we possibly know if our child is on target?! Many times, you just know. I actually started homeschooling, because I was concerned about my oldest child's lack of knowledge on certain things. I asked other parents, looked up the state standards, and even thought about when I learned certain topics. I felt she was behind and I did not care for the methods being used. The tests coincidentally said she was on target for her age, but I disagreed. I felt the test was using the bare minimum (the methods had recently been changed), and I wanted her to be challenged more.
Some schools don't test, some don't give grades. Obviously that is not a 100% sure way to assess a child. There are other methods and many parents find that what works for one child doesn't work for another. Each state has their own requirements, each family has their own standards.
6. I couldn't homeschool, my kids drive me crazy. I can't be with them all day.
My kids drive me crazy too. I make sure to take breaks away from them. I think any relationship needs that. That being said, if you really think you couldn't homeschool, don't homeschool. It's not for everyone and I don't judge people who decide to do it, not do it, start and then stop, etc. It's a choice and it works for us for right now.
Now we're off to hang out at the attractions that are packed when other kids get out of school.
